A very special cat
Tales of The Erfinator
By Bud Gilham
Over the years my family has had its share of pets. But none have had the character of a Coon Cat named The Erfinator.
The cat came to our family by way of our daughter. The little fellow, too young to be separated from its mother, had been badly abused and she rescued it. As this cat grew, the first thing we realized was it was cross-eyed. It would leap for a chair and land on the floor. When trying to avoid obstacles on the run, it often ran into them. After a collision with an object, it would sit and look at you as if to say: "Why?" The cat did eventually get its sight corrected and grewÉand grewÉand grew. I did not know what a Coon cat was, but found out. This cat was huge, with beautiful long hair and a golden mane down its chest, and fangs that protruded past its lower lip, even with its mouth closed. The Erfinator, as he came to be known, soon was the terror of all animals, cars and a few of our relatives as well. Lets start with the cat-astrophies.
The Erfinator was sunning himself near me at the bottom of our driveway, when I spied a big Tom coming towards him. I pointed this out to The Erfinator. He looked at me and yawned. The cat coming down the driveway was creeping now, in that low-to-the-ground, ready-to-pounce position. The Erfinator got up on all fours, slowly stretched, then arched his back and fluffed his tail. As this arching and fluffing began to subside, The Erfinator looked over at the approaching cat. The other cat seemed to ponder the situation, neither moved for what seemed several seconds. The Erfinator, having become bored again, yawned. The other cat turned quickly and ran back up the driveway. The Erfinator promptly went back to sunning himself. Life is good when you are a god, I guess.
Our beloved Erfinator was sometimes called Garfield by the family for some very Garfield-like behaviours.
The Erfinator would walk through the living room and then actually have "a nap attack." Sometimes in mid-stride the cat would flop over on its side and go to sleep. We had the poor cat checked; we thought he was having seizures. The vet just laughed and said, no he is really just lying down and going to sleep, albeit in an odd manner.
But our cat was not like Garfield when it came to dogs, or else he thought they were all Odie.
One of his victims was the neighbours German Shepherd. This large dog decided that it could terrorize The Erfinator like all other cat. It was wrong. The dog did chase Erf up a pole or two during their ongoing feud, but The Erfinator did get the final victory. The dog was once chasing The Erfinator when the cat suddenly put on all four brakes. The dog could not stop fast enough and overran the cat. The Erfinator clamped its teeth into the tendons of the dogs right rear leg. With a howl and a yap the dog shook, rolled and ran but the Erfinator was not letting go. The Erfinator eventually released the dog, which kept on running, never to darken The Erfinators life again.
This cat did not like to be teased or played with roughly. One of my sons would constantly tease the cat, even when chastised by the rest of the family. One day the cat had come to the end of his patience. The Erfinator was strolling by and my son reached out with his foot and lifted the cat into the air. After almost landing on his chin, the cat turned around slowly to face my son. As The Erfinator began to walk with a sense of purpose towards him, he growled menacingly. My son screamed running to his room, cat in pursuit. For the next several hours the cat lay in front of my sons bedroom door. Every time my son opened the door, the cat would growl, chasing him back into his room. Im not sure if cats can laugh, but I swear The Erfinator was.
The cats reputation was known to family, friends and neighbours. The Erfinator was cuddly and gentleÉ really. He loved to sleep on your lap, or at the foot of your bed. He never harmed a person or animal except if attacked or treated unkindly. When this happened, you were in peril of being marked as an enemy by The Erfinator.
This crazy cat even took on vehicles. One autumn evening The Erfinator was chasing maple leaves in front of our home. As the wind picked up the leaves he would leap and swat at them, and soon would be chasing them along the ground. A car approached; the driver noticed the cat playing just at the edge of our front yard. The vehicle increased speed and swerved in and hit The Erfinator. They must have hit the cat as he was leaping for a leaf on the side of the road, because they sent him flying through the air. The cat landed, did several summersaults, growled and ran for the house. Every time a certain car passed by our home, the Erfinator would growl, but we were never able to find out who the owner of the vehicle was.
The Erfinator lived a long life. He battled other cats, dogs, racoons, people and vehicles. After almost 18 years, the old fellow finally gave it up. The tears flowed that day from all of us. The cat with the personality of the Terminator and Garfield had marked us all with smiles and love.
